galacticwiseguy

myjetpack: My new book of cartoons “You’re All Just Jealous...

Mon, 20 May 2013 09:54:36 -0400

My new book of cartoons “You’re All Just Jealous of My Jetpack” is out now. Details are here.

dduane: jenesaispourquoi: dontblinktheangelshavecamelot: Look!...

Mon, 20 May 2013 09:39:25 -0400

jenesaispourquoi:

dontblinktheangelshavecamelot:

Look! There was a fan fiction article in today’s Washington Express (a free daily I newspaper put out by the Washington Post in Washington DC)

Link to the article online

Article credit, Beth Marlowe (Express)

Art credit, Patrick Leger (For Express)

You don’t have to sign up to read stories on ArchiveOfOurOwn though. Just to post them :)

I’m just sitting here chuckling at the illo.

“Mr. Darcy is a hot elf”

"The unsolved mysteries of the rainforest are formless and seductive. They are like unnamed islands..."

Mon, 20 May 2013 09:31:06 -0400

“The unsolved mysteries of the rainforest are formless and seductive. They are like unnamed islands hidden in the blank spaces of old maps, like dark shapes glimpsed descending the far wall of a reef into an abyss. They draw us forward and stir strange apprehensions. The unknown and prodigious are drugs to the scientific imagination, stirring insatiable hunger with a single taste. In our heart, we hope we will never discover everything. We pray that there will always be a world like this one at whose edge I sat in darkness. The rainforest and its richness is one of the last repositories on Earth of that timeless dream.”

- E.O. Wilson (via sciencesoup)

ella-minnow-pea: sext: fist me like u tryna get the last couple pringles so you’re saying to...

Sun, 19 May 2013 23:48:49 -0400

ella-minnow-pea:

sext: fist me like u tryna get the last couple pringles

so you’re saying to pick you up and tip your vagina directly into my mouth

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 21:33:54 -0400

johndarnielle: wilwheaton: I really hope Yahoo doesn’t fuck up Tumblr like it’s fucked up … well,...

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:34:56 -0400

johndarnielle:

wilwheaton:

I really hope Yahoo doesn’t fuck up Tumblr like it’s fucked up … well, every single thing it’s ever touched in the history of the universe.

See here’s the thing though. The only way to prevent something like this would have been to make Tumblr an unwelcoming space, and that’s where we run into the Usenet Paradox. If you try to keep a cool thing to yourself, you get called cliquish, elitist, a snob. But if you don’t work to police its borders — which you probably shouldn’t do, because the people calling you cliquish probably have something of a point, and being an actual border-policing snob saps the fun right out of the thing you’re ostensibly trying to protect — then the people with the money are coming for it. Every single time. Forever. And they will do what they do, because it’s what they do. I can’t speak on behalf of my friends, but I’d hazard a guess that my old buddies Alternative Rock, Rap, Jazz, Independent Film, Things That Are About Vampires and/or Zombies, and The Neighborhoods of Several Large American Cities will co-sign me on this.

*I just invented this paradox. If you wanna option it for a film please do holler, I see immense prospects for development

"“With fire and steel did the gods forge the Klingon heart. So fiercely did it beat, so loud was the..."

Thu, 16 May 2013 09:45:27 -0400

“

“With fire and steel did the gods forge the Klingon heart. So fiercely did it beat, so loud was the sound, that the gods cried out, ‘On this day we have brought forth the strongest heart in all the heavens. None can stand before it without trembling at its strength.’

But then the Klingon heart weakened, its steady rhythm faltered and the gods said, ‘Why do you weaken so? We have made you the strongest in all of creation.’ And the heart said… ‘I am alone.’

And the gods knew that they had erred. So they went back to their forge and brought forth another heart. But the second heart beat stronger than the first, and the first was jealous of its power. Fortunately, the second heart was tempered by wisdom.

‘If we join together, no force can stop us.’ And when the two hearts began to beat together, they filled the heavens with a terrible sound.

For the first time, the gods knew fear. They tried to flee, but it was too late. The Klingon hearts destroyed the gods who created them and turned the heavens to ashes.

To this very day, no one can oppose the beating of two Klingon hearts.”

”

- Klingon Wedding Proclamation. (via alxjrvs)

stunrunner: This is Dollar Store Goku. They actually had the...

Thu, 16 May 2013 02:03:29 -0400

stunrunner:

This is Dollar Store Goku. They actually had the balls to put legit licensed art on his packaging. He is made of extremely thin plastic and hollow. The paint on his boots and belt only exists on the front half of his body. He came with four plastic Dragonballs that have no stars on them and are primary colors.

He is one of the best purchases I have ever made in my life and one of my most valued possessions

what i thought of

Photo

Thu, 16 May 2013 00:46:19 -0400

can i just

Wed, 15 May 2013 23:15:02 -0400

faun-songs:

miraculoustang:

((whispers; please just….

just let me ship))

im never gonna stop laughing

William Caxton Fan Club: NOTES ON IMAGINARY EXTANT, LOST, DELETED, AND UNRECORDED TRACKS WRITTEN, PERFORMED, RECORDED FOR OR DURING THE PERIOD OF...

Wed, 15 May 2013 21:49:36 -0400

William Caxton Fan Club: NOTES ON IMAGINARY EXTANT, LOST, DELETED, AND UNRECORDED TRACKS WRITTEN, PERFORMED, RECORDED FOR OR DURING THE PERIOD OF...:

johndarnielle:

1. A Warrior of Jarella (3:16)

John Darnielle (“Dar-NYEEELehhhh”)* was born in Bloomington, Indiana (“Bloomington: The Other Bloomington”). This son of the Midwest moved around much as a child before settling in California (“The Golden State,” “Fucking California”). This record is…

david: Kurt Braunohler raised $6,000 on Kickstarter to “hire a...

Wed, 15 May 2013 21:18:40 -0400

david:

Kurt Braunohler raised $6,000 on Kickstarter to “hire a man in a plane to write stupid things in the sky”

i thought this was brad burkhard for a second

Wed, 15 May 2013 20:23:00 -0400

i thought this was brad burkhard for a second

Photo

Wed, 15 May 2013 20:11:51 -0400

Photo

Tue, 14 May 2013 23:27:10 -0400

fun with Spandex

Tue, 14 May 2013 18:37:43 -0400

paratactician:

Going to bed, but! I just reached a nice round number of followers and I think it’s traditional to do something stupid in recognition of the fact, so, here you go guys, have this incredibly dumb crossover shit I wrote while on the train several days ago and am clearly never going to find any practical use for. It’s cool, you can unfollow me again now.

I HOPE YOU LIKE X-MEN.

The HS-Men
Founded by bald telepathic genius Professor Cal Francis Scratch to defend a fandom that ships and fears them, the HS-Men operate from an opulent greenstone mansion in Westchester County, New York – disguised behind the innocuous public facade of Professor Scratch’s School for Precious Babies. Besides all the usual facilities, such as swimming pools and gymnasia, the mansion boasts some impressive technological assets. At its heart is Cere-Bro, a pair of sunglasses stored in a sealed basement, which magnify the wearer’s telepathic abilities to a startling degree and serve as a global monitoring system. The Cere-Bro AI also runs the mansion’s Danger Room, where the HS-Men hone their abilities; its bizarre sense of humour means that this room is often significantly more dangerous than the actual enemies the team faces. Beneath the tennis courts is the hangar for the experimental Long Magic Dog stealth jet, in which the team rides through the sky on its neverending mission to find bullies and fuck their shit up.

FOUNDER MEMBERS

Bicyclops (Sollux Captor): the first mutant recruited by Scratch, and the overall team leader. A serious, driven, and rather uptight young man who rarely allows himself to relax. In combat he relies mostly on his distinctive (and devastating) red-and-blue eye-beams, but he is also an excellent strategist and a capable telepath.

Quetzal (Rose Lalonde): the team’s most powerful member, she focuses and channels her almost limitless telekinetic abilities through the pair of wands or ‘needles’ she carries. Nearly destroyed the HS-Men entirely when she became possessed by an ancient cosmic entity called the Fluthlu Force, causing her to go completely off the deep end, start wearing a basque, and exterminate six billion salamanders. She got better.

The Furry (Jade Harley): beneath her alarming bestial exterior (well, dog ears) hides the mind of a brilliant scientist. Jade has saved her friends as often with her chemical and biological know-how as with her strength and gymnastic prowess. She is also a crack shot with most long-barrel firearms. The name wasn’t her idea, but it stuck.

Raguel (Terezi Pyrope): named for the Angel of Justice, her most prominent mutation is her pair of vast white dragon-wings, which enable her to fly at great speeds and with considerable agility. She is blind, but uses a combination of hypersenses and echolocation to gain a disturbingly accurate picture of her surroundings. She likes to lurk on rooftops, then swoop down and lick people’s faces when they least expect it.

Coolkid (Dave Strider): exudes an intense aura of pure cool around his body, causing anyone in close proximity to get, like, really insecure about stuff and start wondering if maybe they need better taste in music. By focusing this power he can freeze moisture in the air to create long ‘rails’ of ice, along which he can then ‘grind’. This is science. When all else fails he hits people with a fucking huge sword.

Read More

wow this is amazing

jollityfarm: bedroom eyes white dragon

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:03:56 -0400

jollityfarm:

bedroom eyes white dragon

hedwig-dordt: Yelling myths at the internet. The best way to...

Tue, 14 May 2013 03:57:14 -0400

hedwig-dordt:

Yelling myths at the internet.

The best way to learn about mythology is by going to college or watching movies like Thor and Troy, right? Wrong. For the past few years, Myths RETOLD has been sharing the world’s oldest stories using a kind of caps-locked slam poetry. Or as the site’s author Cory O’Brien puts it, “Yelling myths at the internet.”

With titles like “Charlemagne is Heteroflexible” and “Daedalus is a Way Bigger Asshole Than You Suspected,” Myths RETOLD takes on everything from Aesop’s Fables to the Zoroastrians. The thing about most ancient myths is that they lend themselves really well to this kind of crude and funny, rap/poetry style. They have timeless themes: murder, incest, dick jokes, and bearded men dressing in drag to marry an ice giant and steal back their magical hammer. (Spoiler alert: That one didn’t make it into the Thor movie.)

For O’Brien, this passion for mythology recently resulted in a book deal. Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology came out earlier this year, featuring an intriguing selection of (awesomely genuine) myths that you’ve probably only heard in their cleaned-up, child-friendly versions. The book’s blurb is in iteself an eye-opener:

Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed.

The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies.

The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace.

Curious about this one-man crusade to educate the world on classic mythology, we contacted Cory O’Brien for a chat… [READ MORE]

Did I mention I’m a huge Greek mythology geek?

nobody writes dave strider as well as this guy

vastderp: The Wabasha bridge in St Paul has been redecorated...

Mon, 13 May 2013 21:46:09 -0400

vastderp:

The Wabasha bridge in St Paul has been redecorated and temporarily renamed the “Freedom to Marry” Bridge by order of the Mayor in honor of Minnesota’s first Freedom to Mary Week.

“Today, we line the Freedom to Marry Bridge with pride flags to show the importance of this legislation to the City of Saint Paul, the families that live here, and to those who have been waiting for this day for many years,” Coleman said.

http://www.minnpost.com/two-cities/2013/05/st-paul-proclaims-freedom-marry-week

[image source]

I’m gonna factcheck these later b/c Niel Cicierega but i...

Mon, 13 May 2013 14:55:55 -0400

I’m gonna factcheck these later b/c Niel Cicierega but i WANT them to be true